Under the smoke and bright lights,
I lost myself in a crowd.
I let the music pulse though my veins
like it was the sole thing allowing me to breathe.
I felt my breath grow warm
as my lips press against the red solo cup
filled with a mixture of confidence and death.
My heart sped,
not in the sense of fear,
but with the validation of being alive.
In a life where I had to grow up before I hit Middle School –
I felt young.
Free.
In this moment,
the sweat forming on my forehead glistened
as the light reflected the rhythm of the music.
It was beautiful chaos.
I felt alive
For once.
. . .
But when the cold air of the outside hit as we left
the lights were replaced by the evening stars-barely noticeable.
There was no music,
and the sweat began to smell.
I was back to feeling nothing,
As the music in my veins melted back
to the red that coursed before
The party was over.
And I was back to reality.
-a.p